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Breastfeeding Mama: Going out for the first time after having a baby

Well, now that my baby is officially one year old, I felt "ready" to go out in the evening for the first time since giving birth.


Maybe you're thinking that it's absolutely crazy that it took me an entire year to go out after my son went to bed. Maybe you're right (?). Nevertheless, it took me a year! Let me tell you a bit of a backstory, how we prepared to help the night go smoothly, and how it ended up going.

Important to note: I do not pump as I found this very painful. I have a condition called Raynaud's where I would get vasospasms in my breast which would make my nipples really sore, so pumping has never really worked for me.


mother and son bond
nothing quite like this love

Backstory

I gave birth to my son on August 22, 2023. Since he was born, I've been lucky enough to breastfeed him. For the first 6 months, he exclusively breastfed. If you have any baby experience, or any breastfeeding experience, you know how demanding a baby's appetite is (and how time consuming feeding can be). When he started eating solid foods, breastfeeding sessions began to slow down incrementally. By the time he was 10 months old, I was nursing him about 3-5 times per day and on-demand overnight. At this time, I still didn't feel like I could leave him for any extended period of time, especially after he went to bed. Breastfeeding still felt too unpredictable and I wanted to make sure I was there for him if he needed me. Fast forward to him at one year old and he's nursing once before bed and twice during the night. That's it!


....did someone say freedom?



How we prepared for my night out

My sister and I purchased tickets for a concert in the city that started at 8pm with an unknown end time. For a relatively new mom, the fewer the details, the more anxiety one may have! Some information I did know:

  • I needed to nurse my son before he went to bed

  • I needed to leave the house by 6:15pm to get into the city to meet my sister

  • I would be home at some point that evening, but could be as late as midnight


Preparations for the evening started early. I was conscious of my son's naptime so that I could nurse him at 6pm, then leave the house while my husband put him to bed. I adjusted his naps to start earlier than usual and thankfully everything went okay with that. After I finished nursing him at 6, my husband held him to the window and we all waved goodbye as I left the house. My husband's strategy was to basically go to bed with our son so that he'd stay comfy and cozy all evening (and maybe not notice I was gone). We had water for him at the bedside, and medicine for teething in case it was necessary. We wanted to make sure our baby's every need was met if he started to fuss while I was gone!



How it went

From my experience, the concert was awesome and it was so fun to let loose with my sister and get some much needed girl time. We ate popcorn while we waited for the show, sang and danced to all the songs, and honesty had such a good time. I did start to get a little nervous as the evening went on, and found myself glancing at the time as the evening progressed; knowing that the later it got, the higher the chances would be of a meltdown in my absence.

The show ended at about 11pm (as a parent, I haven't even stayed up that late since having my baby!) and I arrived home at 11:40pm.


Guess what?


No meltdowns. Our baby was sound asleep the whole time.


No need for water. No need for medicine. No need for mom...?


As I got inside, took my makeup off, brushed my teeth and got into bed, I felt two feelings:


  1. So happy and proud of my baby. My husband and I were so nervous about the night but he was so good! He's growing and evolving and he doesn't need nursing to be comforted as much as he used to.

  2. Sad because I know this means eventually/soon, we'll stop nursing all together. Will he not need me anymore? It felt slightly heartbreaking.


Realistically, I know my son still needs me. And I know he'll still need me for the rest of his childhood and into his adult life. But it's a different sort of feeling to know that he's okay when I'm not there.


At the end of the day, I'm so happy I decided to rip the band aid and go out in the evening. I was so anxious about it but it ended up going great! If I were to go back in time, I'd still have waited a year because that truly just felt right in my heart. I also don't feel like I'll be making a point of going out in the evenings frequently, but I'm happy I did it.


What about you?


When was the first time you went out after having a baby?


How did it go?

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